In the land of India, there lived a young Prince by the name
of Siddhartha. Prince Siddhartha was destined for greatness from the day he was
born, much to the dismay of his parents'. His parents, the Queen and King, loved Siddhartha so much and did not
want anything to taint their young son. In so doing this, they kept Prince
Siddhartha away from the all the bad in the world. The Prince stayed inside his
palace and received everything with its confines. Prince Siddhartha lived this
way until he grew to be a young adult.
One day, though, the flowers that bloomed so beautifully as spring
approached tempted the Prince to finally leave the palace and explore the
world. Prince Siddhartha went to the King to let him know that he wanted to
leave the palace the next afternoon.
"Father, I would love to explore outside of the palace tomorrow. Is that alright?" said Prince Siddhartha.
The King, having protected his son from the outside world for so long, felt a little antsy about letting his son leave the palace. The King also felt that he could still shelter young Prince Siddhartha away from world, or so he planned.
"Yes, son, I agree. You should be able to explore outside of the palace. Just let me know when you want to leave, and I will have a chariot waiting for you," the King exclaimed.
"Thank you, Father, I will leave tomorrow afternoon," said Siddhartha gleefully.
"Father, I would love to explore outside of the palace tomorrow. Is that alright?" said Prince Siddhartha.
The King, having protected his son from the outside world for so long, felt a little antsy about letting his son leave the palace. The King also felt that he could still shelter young Prince Siddhartha away from world, or so he planned.
"Yes, son, I agree. You should be able to explore outside of the palace. Just let me know when you want to leave, and I will have a chariot waiting for you," the King exclaimed.
"Thank you, Father, I will leave tomorrow afternoon," said Siddhartha gleefully.
The King, pondered what he could do to keep Prince Siddhartha
away from the ordinary encounters of life. The King then thought that he could
order all those to clear away from where Prince Siddhartha would be riding on
his chariot. And so it was done the next morning. Little did the King know, the Gods had other plans for Prince Siddhartha. The Gods made sure that Prince
Siddhartha would have three real world encounters for him to learn all that his parents had sheltered him from.
Later that afternoon when Prince Siddhartha left for his
exploration outside the palace, he was fascinated by how beautiful the land of
India was. On Prince Siddhartha's way up a long stretch of road he saw a man
walking alongside the road. The man was very old with a hunchback and gray
hair, and a cane to help him walk. Always being in the palace, the Prince was
not aware of old age. Also, seeing the older gentlemen made Siddhartha
wonder if he would grow to be that old someday. He pondered it, until he came
upon another older man who was noticeably ill.
Once again, the Prince was taken aback by the sickly look of the man.
The Prince began to wonder again and asked the charioteer if being sick was normal
for all people and the charioteer replied to him honestly. Prince Siddhartha
then began to think about all the terrible things people face and ordered his
charioteer to take him home. Although, on the way back to the palace, Prince
Siddhartha saw four men carrying a corpse to a funeral and asked the
charioteer to stop at once. He asked the charioteer what happened to the corpse,
and he explained to the Prince the lesson that everyone will face death, and that is what happened to the man whom he saw. Prince Siddhartha, very shocked
by this revelation ordered his chariot to be returned to the palace.
Once back at the palace, Prince Siddhartha returned to his
room, and he felt greatly depressed about all that he had learned. The King learned about what had happened
during Prince Siddhartha's ride outside the palace, and he felt bad for hiding
so many things from his son. He attempted to bring great entertainment for his
son consisting of having his maidens entice Prince Siddhartha by dancing and flirting with him, but he still felt sad. When Prince Siddhartha woke up one morning, he
devised a plan to end all suffering in the world. In order to accomplish this, though, he had to
leave the palace for a while. When Siddhartha was leaving the palace, the King tried to stop him. Prince Siddhartha
told the King, "Father, if you cannot keep me from being old, getting sick,
or dying, then please do not stop me from leaving." The King could not
promise any of those things to his son, so he did nothing but let his son go
off on his own and learn for himself.
Author's note: The original story this was based on was from "The Life of Buddha" unit in the UN-textbook. Specifically, I based my story on the three encounters of Prince Siddhartha. During his encounter he learns about old age, illness, and death. Prince Siddhartha had not previously known about these types of suffering in the world because he was sheltered from the outside world by his mother and father.Prince Siddhartha's father even tries to shelter his son when he does leave by taking away all the crippled and elderly, but the Gods make it so Prince Siddhartha still encounters everyday ordinary people. When Prince Siddhartha returns to the palace for the last time, he is depressed. The King tries to cheer him up with entertainment, but it does not work. In the end, Prince Siddhartha feels that he needs to find a way to end the world's suffering, so he leaves home. His father tries to stop him, but he still leaves. I kept the general theme of the story, but changed the way Prince Siddhartha learned about the world's suffering a little. I made it to where he learned all encounters in the same day. What I set out for this story is to show how someone can live a sheltered life and be ignorant to everything around them. I recently had an experience with this when a friend of mine was not familiar with a common phrase that is used very commonly because they lived a sheltered life growing up.
Bibliography:
The Life of Buddha by Andre Ferdinand Herold (1922).
I really wanted to read The Life of Buddha story so I am glad you chose this as a storytelling. Reading the story, I felt so bad for Siddhartha because he was being sheltered from the real world causing him to be so shocked and depressed. I am proud of his choice at the end of the story when he was still able to walk out into the world with the knowledge of the suffering that can happen.
ReplyDeleteI read this reading unit last semester when I took Indian Epics. I really enjoyed reading about Siddhartha and his journey to becoming the Buddha. Anyway, I enjoyed your retelling of the three encounters. I was so interested by this part of the reading, but did pity Siddhartha for having to experience those things like he did. Sure, they are normal parts of life, but it seemed like he just kind of got smacked in the face with reality. You did a great job, and you can tell you connected with this story through your writing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you condensed the three different stories into one easy read. I also think the way yours reads makes a lot more sense as to why he was depressed. Learning that all of those awful things happen all in one day must be so heartbreaking. It really makes you wonder how many people are just completely ignorant to the world around them because of their upbringing. It's a bit sad if you really think about it. But anyways, I really liked your story and felt you did a great job with the writing and flow.
ReplyDeleteHey Brandy,
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I have read about the Buddha before, but this was a fresh creative take on it. I noticed that you incorporated three stories into one, which worked really well. My only suggestion is to split your quotes into individual paragraphs instead of placing them inside large paragraphs. It helps the reader differentiate them more easily and tell who is speaking. Again, good job. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
I enjoyed reading the original story about Buddha’s life, and I also enjoyed your retelling of it. I like the way you made Siddhartha encounter the old man, the ill man, and the funeral all in the same journey, rather than in three separate journeys. The message and plot are very consistent with the original story though, which makes it very easy to follow.
ReplyDeleteHey, Brandy! Your storytelling post was great – you did a wonderful job of weaving together a story for class that is easy to read and interesting with one that is meaningful and allows us to examine our own lives and where we may/may not be sheltered. I also appreciate how you chose to re-tell a story that has a more personal meaning to you (as you had said in your author’s note about your friend who was fairly sheltered).
ReplyDeleteInteresting story! I liked how the gods intervened on the king's intent to shield his son. No matter what you do, you cannot escape the reality of the world and your story illustrates that very well. I really enjoyed reading it. Your thoughts were well organized and the story flowed very nicely.
ReplyDeleteBrandy! I didn’t know you were in this class. I enjoyed your story. I remember reading Siddhartha in high school and I fell in love with the book. Your story brought me back to how much I loved and enjoyed the original book. Your layout worked really well with the story. It made the story feel very soft and pretty and it fit the theme and title of the story. This story is very relevant in everyday life. So many people try to shelter their children from certain things that they end up hurting them instead of helping them. Good job.
ReplyDeleteBrandy! I didn’t know you were in this class. I enjoyed your story. I remember reading Siddhartha in high school and I fell in love with the book. Your story brought me back to how much I loved and enjoyed the original book. Your layout worked really well with the story. It made the story feel very soft and pretty and it fit the theme and title of the story. This story is very relevant in everyday life. So many people try to shelter their children from certain things that they end up hurting them instead of helping them. Good job.
ReplyDeleteBrandy, I really thought this was a great story! I remember reading Siddhartha a long time ago, but I thought this was great! As I'm reading, I'm just going to put some little comments here:
ReplyDelete"In so doing this, they kept Prince..." I think you can cut out the "so" and it would work fine! "One day, though the flowers.." I would just put a comma after the word though. "The King having protected..." I would put a comma after King since you're introducing a clause. "...shelter young Prince Siddhartha away from world.." I would add in "the" before world. "Prince Siddhartha very shocked by this revelation ordered his chato be returned to the palace." I would put a comma before very and after revelation. Also, check the spelling of chariot in that sentence.
On a more holistic level, I think you did a great job writing this story. Your idea was great and I think you did a great job at executing it. It was fun to read, easy to comprehend and kept me interested throughout. Good job!
Brandy, I really enjoyed reading your story about the Prince Siddhartha. I think you were able to write the story well. I enjoyed how you were able to place the perspective and everything else in it. I do have a couple of suggestions for corrections to make your story.
ReplyDeleteIn the first line of the second paragraph, you say “One day, though the flowers that bloomed so beautifully as spring approached tempted the Prince . . . “. My suggestion would be to maybe reword that particular line to make it more cohesive. The wording confused me a little when I first read it. I wasn’t sure what the connection between the spring, the flowers blooming and the Prince being tempted to leave was. I also saw the word “chato” used in the last sentence of your second to last paragraph. I wasn’t sure what you meant by that because it wasn’t used at all in any other part of the story.
I thought your portrayal of the prince was well built-up: the audience gets a clear expectation of what emotional experiences the prince might be susceptible to on his journey. But I do find it odd that you don't elaborate on his mindset and reactions beyond a sentence or two for each real-life encounter. This story could be enriched by expounding on what he thinks, feels, and does in response to each event, for example: it would have provided a nice bit of drama if when the prince saw the sick person, he tried to use his medical education to try and heal the sick citizen but the prince himself got sick as a result. And perhaps he would receive some sort of ailment from each experience (sickness, a scar, psychological trauma, etc). And by the end, the prince would have matured greatly because of the actions that he took in response to his confrontations, instead of just witnessing and pondering them as he does in your retelling. But overall, this story was extremely well told!
ReplyDeleteHey Brandy,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this retelling of the story. I think the story is an interesting insight into the way that so many parents try to raise their children, by sheltering them from the outside world. It's interesting the way that the Gods conspire to still show the prince all that is happening, and the way in which the prince decides that he must go into the world to see all that there is. The way you combined the stories together worked really well!
Hey Brandy!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story “Encounters of Life.” It really interesting and entertaining. What especially made me enjoy this story was how relatable it was. I feel like everyone in some way are ignorant or are not aware of their surroundings because they have lived such a sheltered life. I am even at fault of this.
The picture you selected for you story was spot on. It really illustrates the story. It shows Siddhartha in an expensive chariot and dressed in rich clothing. It also depicts an older poor man. The contrast between these two people portrays the theme of the story: some people are raised so sheltered that they do not even realize the suffering that exists around them.
I did not really notice any grammar or punctuation errors. Your style of writing was really to the point, which I appreciate. Sometimes a story can be really fluffy, making it hard to read. Good job Brandy!
I remember reading this story in our India unit and I enjoyed it very much! Your retelling of it condenses a large chunk of Siddhartha's journey into one story and makes it much easier to comprehend why he would seek to end the world's suffering after seeing all three atrocities his parents have tried to shield him from: sickness, old age, and even death. Poor Siddhartha is so sensitive to the suffering of the world and it's incredible that his legacy continues on to this day, especially when it seems that the suffering is greater than it has ever been.
ReplyDelete